Creating Better Stories
Posted on December 5, 2019 by Randy
Welcome to episode 6 – This week we will discuss the 5 Commandments of episode 4 of Killing Eve.
Parul:
The Inciting Incident happens 19 min in when Eve discovers that Frank might be taking bribes.
Villanelle’s Inciting Incident is when Villanelle is told off by Constantin for leaving her name as the nurse for the last kill
Melanie:
It’s so interesting that Villanelle still has power, she gives that birthday present for his daughter, basically saying I know things.
Randall:
Most of the first half of this episode is Villanelle and without it, the episode would be pretty boring. It’s hard to eliminate Villanelle as the protagonist given all of her screen time.
Parul:
Well, Eve is in grief over Bill, so she can’t do much other than cry and sulk and have arguments with her husband.
Melanie:
I thought the Inciting Incident was when the suitcase arrived at her house and Eve now knows where she lives.
Randall:
Or is the inciting incident when Villanelle gets a mission to kill a British agent, and we as the viewer don’t know if that agent is Eve or not?
Melanie:
The Suitcase is good foreshadowing because we know that Villanelle is going to show up at Eve’s house.
Melanie:
Progressive Complications:
Turning Point: If the Inciting Incident is when Eve’s suitcase shows up or that Villanelle has been assigned a British agent to kill, then the Turning Point would be when Eve finds out that Frank is taking bribes, because this puts her on Frank’s trail which eventually leads to the Eve and Villanelle confrontation.
Melanie:
So, what’s the crisis in this episode?
Does Eve confront Frank with the knowledge that she now knows he’s the mole? Or does she bring that information to Carolyn?
The stakes for this Crisis are: she wants to confront Frank because she wants to find someone to blame for Bill’s death, however if she presents this information to Carolyn it’s more likely that they will be able to capture and use Frank.
Parul:
I see something similar, the same scene, but the question is Do I know what to do or do I need help? Because Eve is still new at her job, she is doubting herself because of Bill’s death.
Melanie:
Sometimes I wonder if Eve is even aware of her insecurity.
Parul:
It’s a pretty tough job.
Melanie:
I wonder if she recognizes that she might not be the right person for the job.
Randall:
So the Climax is that she goes to Carolyn with the information
Randall:
Carolyn assigns Eve, Elena, and Kenny to go talk to Frank
Melanie:
And I think the next big sequence bleeds into the next episode, and it starts when Eve and crew get a call from Frank and realize he is being hunted.
Parul:
I find this episode very unattractive because the next big sequence bleeds over to the next episode.
Melanie:
Maybe the writers wanted to leave the middle of the series on a big cliff-hanger.
Eve starts depressed and feeling guilty about Bill’s death and with knowing Frank is the mole, they have a new lead they can investigate to find out more. If we stop the resolution at Frank being a new good lead.
Polarity Shift: -/+
But if we end at the end of the episode, it could end in a –.
Parul:
From a love story, we have a ritual of Villanelle leaving a note, which Eve will repeat later.
Melanie:
As a love story, we have gifts – the suitcase, the expensive clothes, and the perfume named Villanelle with the note: Sorry Baby. Hate is a great emotion – you can feel for someone, Eve wants to kill Villanelle with her bare hands.
In general, though, the episode wasn’t as good as the others, we didn’t have another assassination in the beginning as we have in the other three episodes. This scene is preparing for the Hero at the Mercy of the Villain scene. This episode might be more of a setup episode, it is setting up a lot of things.
Villanelle is paired up with two more assassins in order to kill Frank, and Villanelle ends up killing both of her partners. She even backs up over her prison friend Nadia, twice.
What other shows have a killer team imploding and killing each other?
Randy – Driver, Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill
Mel – In The Dark Knight – the Joker kills all the others who are working with him.
Parul: Mission Impossible
Did we miss any shows? Did this episode work for you?
Leave your comments on our webpage at storygrid.com where you can also find links and additional material in the show notes.
Welcome to episode 6 – This week we will discuss the 5 Commandments of episode 4 of Killing Eve.
Posted on December 2, 2019 by Randy
This post will analyze the the Episode 7, titled “Home Again”, of the For All Mankind television series using the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne.
Obviously, I will be discussing plot points from the television series For All Mankind. So, check it out before reading further.
Posted on November 30, 2019 by Randy
If you are going to write about soldiers, one of the sure fire things you need to get right are the uniforms, especially if you want veterans and their families to enjoy the book. Nothing irritates me more than when I’m reading a book or watching a movie and the wrong uniform is used or described.
Every Soldier in the Army uses 2 basic uniforms: the Army Combat Uniform (above) and the Army Service Uniform (below). Additionally, depending on your job, you may be issued and authorized to wear other uniforms. The Army has webpage which discusses all of its new uniforms coming out and how they will be worn.
This blog will only be talking about the Army Combat Uniform and its evolution over the years.
Read MorePosted on November 30, 2019 by Randy
This post will analyze the the Episode 6, titled “Home Again”, of the For All Mankind television series using the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne.
Obviously, I will be discussing plot points from the television series For All Mankind. So, check it out before reading further.
Posted on November 28, 2019 by Randy
In today’s episode, we’re talking about Killing Eve episode 3: Don’t I know You.
Randall:
So, does Germany actually have these fetish shops?
Melanie:
I have no idea. I’m so embarrassed this happened in Germany. I’m from a small village and I have never heard of these places.
Melanie:
There is another murder, very out of the ordinary again. Villanelle killed a Chinese diplomat in Berlin. That’s a causal inciting incident. A new lead for Eve.
Now we’ve moved right in from the Beginning Hook to the Middle Build of the story
If you are familiar with Joseph Campbell’s hero’s journey, you might know that the transition from Beginning Hook to Middle Build is in most cases happening at the same time as the hero leaves the ordinary world and moves into the extraordinary world.
We see this in this episode – Eve moving into the extraordinary world.
Also, the episode has the purpose to highlight that no one is safe from Villanelle.
Especially no one close to Eve. It’s like Villanelle was making a statement. And if we continue to track Eve’s journey or the hero’s journey, then Eve will soon find out how dangerous that extraordinary world really is. That’s basically, as mentioned before, what this episode is really about.
Melanie:
The Turning Point is when Eve is told that the nurse in the fetish shop used her name for the last assassination. It’s a revelation for Eve, and now she knows that the assassin knows who she is. Eve is not a stranger investigating that case anymore, but her prey knows its hunter now and can turn the tables.
Parul:
I think the Turning Point comes later on, where Eve says to Carolyn “Please don’t fire me”. So she doesn’t seem to be making any decision.
Randall:
I think it’s an internal crisis.
Parul:
What about this – Eve is in charge of a team, and when she is in Germany she doesn’t answer Bill’s call till the second time, and as a result, Bill dies, so she fails. So I think the Turning Point is when Bill dies and how she progresses – does she stay on the mission or not. When I get stuck on a crisis, it is the most memorable moment and for me, that is when Bill dies.
Melanie:
But the Turning Point is when the tables are turned and that happens when she finds out her name was dropped by Villanelle.
Randall:
I don’t understand what the crisis question would be after Bill dies.
Parul:
I think it’s “What do I do?”
Randall:
I don’t think we’ll going to solve this, and we might both be right. What do our listeners think? What’s the Turning Point? Let us hear from you!!
Melanie:
Does she continue to pursue Villanelle or not after she knows that Villanelle knows her name?
Parul:
After failing as a leader when Bill is killed, does Eve continue to pursue Villanelle and be part of the team?
In both cases, Eve decides to continue to pursue Villanelle
Melanie:
So, what happens when Eve makes the decision to go to Berlin. People die. Her friend and former boss, Bill, dies. This is the second time that Eve has made a decision and afterward, people have died, the first being at the hospital in the first episode. Death seems to follow Eve, and this can do two things: it can make her more determined or it can destroy her, and this is character building, it shows what kind of person Eve will be. Either way, it’s definitely personal now for sure.
Randall:
Eve finds out Villanelle knows her name and now Bill is dead and the game is real
Polarity Shift: -/–
Parul:
I see a comparison with Bill getting killed and the Red Wedding scene in Game of Thrones. The night before, Eve and Bill are bonding and it’s too cute, like the party before the wedding, and the next scene everyone is getting killed in the Red Wedding and Bill is dead. Whenever it gets calm, we should expect bad things.
Randall:
That’s good storytelling – surprising the readers and viewers.
Parul:
Yeah, of course, it’s dark. I couldn’t believe they would add to the tension.
Melanie:
I just want to mention the scene when Villanelle hooks up with this older woman with similar hair to Eve and tells her “now I’m going to hide and you’re going to find me?”
And Bill tells his son that he’s going to die, a little foreshadowing there. That was so sad.
Randall:
Now if you look at Villanelle’s assassinations, they get more and more out of the ordinary. Vienna a surgical stab wound. Tuscany she injects poison in the eye. The massacre at the hospital. In Bulgaria, she is almost bored chasing that man in the office. Deadly perfume against the woman. And finally, a sex fetish killing in Berlin.
Now, we have a personal reason for Eve to chase Villanelle as well as her professional reason. And we want to see how Eve will get her revenge.
The audience is in it for the long haul now.
Parul:
It’s kind of squishy. Maybe Eve’s self-awareness is going up.
What other movies and TV shows can you think of that have prominent characters die? Mentors?
Randy – Star Wars (Obi-Wan Kenobi); Mistborn – Kelsier dies early on the book.
Mel – I love reading comics. So for example in Hellboy – Seed of Destruction Hellboy’s adoptive father dies. Or sir Reginald Hargreeves right in the beginning of the first volume of Umbrella Academy. Gandalf kinda dies in Lord of the Rings, but luckily he comes back as Gandalf the White. Antonius Proximo in “Gladiator”. Dumbledore in Harry Potter.
Parul – Game of Thrones, Red Wedding.
Did we miss any? Write your favorite unique assassinations in our comment section on storygrid.com where you’ll also find links and additional material in our show notes.
Vote for our next TV series at our website: www.sgshowrunners.com
For more information about the Story Grid, go to the Story Grid Webpage to find free videos and articles on how to implement the methodology.
Read these articles for more information about the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne.
For an example of how these techniques are used, read Jane Austin’s The Pride and the Prejudice with annotations by Shawn Coyne.
If you are interested in having your manuscript reviewed by me, see my Editing Services.
Posted on November 25, 2019 by Randy
When I began this blog, i wanted to give something back to the internet universe that perhaps doesn’t yet exist. I was trying to think about what I might be uniquely qualified to write about that might be useful to some few people out there. What I finally decided is my arena is how to write soldiers accurately.
having served in the military for over 30 years and having a MFA in Creative Writing and a Story Grid Editor Certification, I decided that I could help other writers who are creating stories that involve soldiers to make their stories better.
I began with a post about a day in the life of an Infantry Soldier and followed that with a post about rifles used in the current day military, then I got sidetracked. I have noticed an increased interest in those old post, so I decided to continue with this series.
What I would like to know is if anyone has any suggestions or questions about how the military functions? Or what they wear or equipment they use?
Past Posts:
I think there is a lot of misconceptions about Soldiers in the United States and around the world. This is apparent to me every day by the types of questions I get asked, but three specific incidents really hammered this point home to me.
The first incident happened to me in the late 1990s, I was driving a Hum Ver (hummer) from NC to VA for a training exercise, I was one of a number of vehicles in a convoy, we were all in uniform and we stopped at a rest stop. Sitting in the grass eating a picnic was a young 20 something couple, looked a little hippie, and the girl approached me and asked, “So, this is a hummer.” I replied, “Yes it is.” Then she said, “And it’s bulletproof?” I was standing next to a hummer with a plastic roof.
This was before 9/11, before bulletproof hummers were a real thing. Up until this point in my life, I had never seen a bulletproof hummer, I didn’t even know if they existed. And I had no idea where she got the idea that it would be bulletproof. Though, it was obvious to me from the plastic doors and roof, that this particular hummer was definitely not bulletproof.
It’s interesting that one of the serious problems at the beginning of the Afghan and Iraq wars was the lack of bulletproof hummers (little known/ remembered fact – which is why I want to write this blog).
I once read an interview of Lee Childs, author of the Jack Reacher novels. They are great action novels, and everyone loves them and the movies starring Tom Cruise. But when I read the first book and an article, I was blown away about how much the Mr. Childs didn’t know about the US Army.
In his first Jack Reacher Novel, Killing Floor, from 1997, he explains his view of Army Military Police, Jack Reacher’s profession, and why Reacher is such a badass:
“A military policeman deals with military lawbreakers. Those lawbreakers are service guys. Highly trained in weapons, sabotage, unarmed combat. Rangers, Green Berets, marines. Not just killers. Trained killers. Extremely well trained, at huge public expense. So the military policeman is trained even better. Better with weapons. Better unarmed.”
Totally false. I think the Army MPs would be the first to admit this. Green Berets and Rangers are super well trained in hand to hand combat and weapons, MPs are more trained in police procedures but any additional training beside periodic range training is all on their own. As a former Ranger and Green Beret, I was on the range sometimes 30 days a month, and learned how to use more than 20 types of guns. We have our own hand to hand instructors and training area. Tim Kennedy is a green beret, a UFC fighter, and formally won the service-wide combatives (Hand to hand) tournament three years in a row.
I also read an article where Mr. Childs discussed how he came up with his character. He said he wanted to make him an officer which would explain why he didn’t wash his clothes and bought new ones all the time, because as an officer jack Reacher was accustomed to having he enlisted men wash his clothes. I’m not sure if that is true in the British Army, but it is definitely not true in the U.S. Army.
He did get some things right. About a newly separated military man being sort of a loner and wanderer. He also said later that in retrospect, he would have made Jack Reacher a senior enlisted man instead of an officer, as that was more accurate with reference to Reacher’s experience and skills.
Sometime in late 2009 or so I was asked to pre-read a play that had a military theme. The playwright had a couple misconceptions that I tried to correct and which he fought me on and finished by saying I didn’t know what I was talking about. One was he wanted to set his play during the Iraq War in 2002, to which I said we didn’t invade Iraq till 2003. So he said, that’s alright, I’ll change the setting to Afghanistan. His plot mainly dealt with tanks, and I told him we didn’t use tanks in the war in Afghanistan. He didn’t believe me. He also had a major scene taking place off base where all his main characters were drinking beer in a bar while wearing their uniforms. I told them that no one does that, once again he insisted I was wrong.
I could go on, as he was wrong on a number of other details too. But that just justifies my reasoning for writing this blog, the misunderstanding of life in the military.
If you are interested in having your manuscript reviewed by me, see my Editing Services. Also, check out my testimonials to see what other authors have said about my editing.
Posted on November 25, 2019 by Randy
This post will analyze the the Episode 5, titled “Into the Abyss”, of the For All Mankind television series using the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne.
Obviously, I will be discussing plot points from the television series For All Mankind. So, check it out before reading further.
Posted on November 25, 2019 by Randy
This post will analyze the the Episode 4, titled “Nixon’s Women”, of the For All Mankind television series using the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne.
Obviously, I will be discussing plot points from the television series For All Mankind. So, check it out before reading further.
Posted on November 24, 2019 by Randy
This post will analyze the the Episode 3, titled “Nixon’s Women”, of the For All Mankind television series using the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne.
Obviously, I will be discussing plot points from the television series For All Mankind. So, check it out before reading further.
Posted on November 23, 2019 by Randy
This post will analyze the the Episode 2, titled “He Built the Saturn V”, of the For All Mankind television series using the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne.
Obviously, I will be discussing plot points from the television series For All Mankind. So, check it out before reading further.
Hi, my name is Randy Surles and I edit Thrillers and Action novels. I specialize in Fantasy, Science Fiction, and anything with a military flavor to it.