Randy Surles - Developmental Editor
Mentoring Authors One Scene at a Time – Thriller/Military/Non-Fiction/SF/Fantasy
Gentleman Jack Ep2
I am releasing this early because I want to publish the Episodes as I watch them to see if my predictions are correct and I’m a few episodes behind.
The 5 Commandments of Gentleman Jack: Episode 2
These are the 5 Commandments of Storytelling as outlined by Shawn Coyne in his book The Story Grid: What good Editors Know. These commandments can be found in all stories that really work.
Inciting Incident:
Anne Lister’s visits Ann Walker to strengthen their bond.
Progressive Complications:
Lister is invited to the wedding of her ex-lover
Crisis:
Does Lister go to Lake with Ann or ex-lover’s wedding
Climax:
Lister chooses to go to wedding
Resolution:
She comes to terms with her ex, and then goes to the Lake to see Ann
A note on Value shifts. Scenes need to turn in order for a story to work, if it doesn’t turn in value then nothing is really happening. See the following two articles on value shift in scenes and stories at www.storygrid.com:
Love Story Value Shift:
+/++ potential love interest to attraction
Lister has demonstrated her interest and Walker has returned that interest.
Society Value Shift:
+/++ small success to more successful
Lister shows up the Rawson brothers in their dealings with coal
Obligatory scenes and Conventions are expectations the reader or watcher have when they watch specific genres.
Obligatory Scenes and Conventions for a Love Story
- First Intimate Connection – almost kiss and sensually hold hands; Lister says that she thinks walker is a little in love with her, small confession so of love between the two women
- Harmer – Ann’s cousin, Catherine, passes info on rumors that Lister likes women
- Proof of Love – a small proof of love is given from Lister to Walker, a pin
Obligatory Scenes and Conventions for a Status Story
- As the coal situation develops, Lister learns the Antagonists’ Object of Desire – the Rawson brothers want to steal her coal interests; this would mean that Lister goal is to stop them, and she makes numerous moves in this episode to do just that
- Lister is Walker’s mentor to make her a stronger woman, I am still looking for a strong mentor for Lister though
- Herald – a fellow striver that sells out, this describes Lister’s former lover when she marries a man (former lesbian that marries a man)
Spoiler Alert – Some Predictions to keep looking for:
Given the Current Status Story, I assume we’ll see some of the following things in the upcoming episodes:
- Still looking for a Shapeshifter – someone who supports her but betrays her
- I’m looking for a strong mentor figure, and maybe this will develop, I’m looking toward her aunt right now
The Story Grid
For more information about the Story Grid, go to the Story Grid Webpage to find free videos and articles on how to implement the methodology.
Read these articles for more information about the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne.
For an example of how these techniques are used, read Jane Austin’s The Pride and the Prejudice with annotations by Shawn Coyne.
Story Grid Editing
If you are interested in having your manuscript reviewed by me, see my Editing Services.
Gentleman Jack Ep1
My analysis of television series’ episodes use Story Grid’s 5 Commandments of a Scene. I hope that this analysis will help writers make better scenes for themselves. Additionally, I will cover the 6 Questions Every Editor Asks, also from the Shawn Coyne’s book The Story Grid.
The 5 Commandments of Gentleman Jack: Episode 1
These are the 5 Commandments of Storytelling as outlined by Shawn Coyne in his book The Story Grid: What good Editors Know.
Inciting Incident:
Anne Lister’s lover, Vere Hobart, leaves her for a man
This specific incident frees Anne Lister to return to her ancestral home of Shibden where she takes over management. Though this is not revealed till 25 minutes into the episode (almost halfway), we see the breakup in a flashback, so this happens before she returns to Shibden. It’s important to note that because I think this is a Love Story, the 5 Commandments should turn on the Love to Hate measuring stick. This is love betrayed.
Progressive Complications:
There are a number of small Progressive complications that build over the episode:
- The carriage driver has an accident and Anne must drive the carriage
- The rent collector for her family is sick and can’t collect rent so Anne must do
- Collecting rent is a man’s job and Anne causes a scandal by doing it
- Anne finds out her family’s land is rich in coal
However, since I’ve decided that the Global Genre is a Love Story, the Progressive Complication needs to turn on Love – Hate, so I think the Progressive Complication for this episode is when Lister meets Ann Walker near the end.
Crisis:
Will Anne stay and pursue Ann Walker, or leave and pursue her love for travel
Climax:
Ann Lister decides to stay
Resolution:
Lister proclaims what she will try and make Ms. Walker her wife
Love Story Value Shift:
-/+ loveless to potential love interest
Lister has returned after a hard breakup in the beginning of the episode, and at the end she has her sights on making Walker her wife
Society Value Shift:
-/+ failure to success
At the beginning, the rents aren’t being collected and by the end Lister has collected rents and removed non-paying tenants. Also, she has discovered coal deposit on her property that other miners might be stealing, and she has hired someone to help her manage her coal interests.
Obligatory Scenes and Conventions for a Love Story
Lovers Meet – Lister and Walker meet for the first time
Opposing Forces – Society does not accept gay relationships; society does not accept women in financial power
External Need – Lister has a need to be financial and sexually free
Obligatory Scenes and Conventions for a Status Story
An inciting Opportunity or Challenge – Lister sees managing her families affairs as a challenge
Big Social Problem – society is not accepting of gays or powerful women
Spoiler Alert – Some Predictions
Given the current love story, I assume we’ll see some of the following things in the upcoming episodes:
a love triangle – there is the question of whether Lister might return to the arms of her previous lover at some time in the series, or a new lover if spurned by Walker. And, of course, Walker could also stray.
First intimate connection or kiss – I assume that will come in the next episode, though they may delay the kiss to increase anticipation of the watchers.
I assume the lovers will have a break up at some point – however, since this is based on a true story, if they were happy in real life, maybe this doesn’t happen.
It’s difficult to see who the helpers/ harmers are yet. Some of the servants, definitely Lister’s sister disapproves of Lister, the other women of status in the area.
Given the Current Status Story, I assume we’ll see some of the following things in the upcoming episodes:
More opposing forces, maybe at a local level, maybe in the form of other women or a group of women
At this point, Vere Hobart, Lister’s ex-lover, appears to be the sell out (fellow striver sells out) – we’ll see (selling out to gayhood by marrying a man)
Lister is making plans for managing the coal on her property, this seems like a good opportunity for her ‘initial strategy to fail’ and then she will have to change tactics.
Lister relies on old habits and humiliates herself – this could take the form of her strong arm tactics not working and she might have to ‘appear’ weak like a woman later to ultimately win
More Story Analysis
If you want to see more applications of the Story Grid methodology, below are links to my analysis of various novels and television shows in blog posts and podcasts:
Story Grid Showrunners Podcast – Parul, Melanie, and I analyze hit TV series using the Story Grid methodology.
My blog posts analyzing other Television series – my person take using the Story grid 5 Commandments to look at my favorite TV series – Jack Ryan, Batgirl, For All Mankind, Hanna, and more.
Novel analysis – I analyze some of my favorite books using the Story Grid 5 Commandments and 6 core questions – First Blood, Old Man’s War, Waylander, and more to come!
Gentleman Jack – Intro
My analysis of television series’ episodes use Story Grid’s 5 Commandments of a Scene. I hope that this analysis will help writers make better scenes for themselves. Additionally, I will cover the 6 Questions Every Editor Asks, also from the Shawn Coyne’s book The Story Grid.
For my first series I will review with the Story Grid 5 Commandments, I’ve chosen the HBO series ‘Gentleman Jack’, mainly because I’ve just started watching it myself.
From IMDB, Gentleman Jack is described as “A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall.”
This is a new series on HBO that began April 22, 2019 and episode 5 has just aired.
For Genre, I believe this is an external Love story/ internal Status story.
The Love Story
Shawn Coyne says a Love story “gives us prescriptive and cautionary tales to navigate love’s emotional minefield.” Rachelle Ramirez outlines the elements of a Love Story in her article “Secrets of the Love Genre”.
My initial take is that Anne Lister and Ann Walker main characters of the love story.
The Global Value of a Love story is love to hate, attraction to indifference.
Obligatory Scenes Include:
- Lovers Meet
- First Kiss or Intimate Connection
- Confession of Love
- Lovers Break up
- Proof of Love
- Lovers Reunite
Conventions Include:
- Love Triangle
- Helpers and Harmers
- Gender Divide
- External Need
- Opposing Forces
- Secrets
- Rituals
- Moral Weight
The Status Story
Shawn Coyne says a Status story “concerns a single protagonist’s quest to rise in social standing and the price he or she must pay in order to do so.” Rachelle Ramirez outlines the elements of the Status Story in her article “The Secrets of the Status Genre”.
Anne Lister is the central character of the Status Story, a “LGBTQ+ trailblazerer” and gay woman in a pre-womens’ rights society, is the epitome of this type of protagonist as she tries to improve her rights. At 53 minutes in the episode, she actually addresses male only suffrage.
The Global Value of a Status Story is Success to Failure.
Obligatory Scenes
- An Inciting Opportunity or Challenge
- Protagonist leaves home to seek fortune
- Forced to adapt to a new environment, Protagonist relies on old habits and humiliates herself
- The protagonist learns what the Antagonist’s object of desire is and sets out to achieve it for herself
- Protagonist’s initial strategy to outmaneuver Antagonist fails
- During an All is Lost Moment, Protagonist realizes they must change their definition of success or risk betraying their morality
- The Core Event: Protagonist chooses to do what’s necessary to attain status or reject the world that they strive to join
Conventions
- Strong Mentor Figure
- Big Social Problem
- Shapeshifters as Hypocrites (secondary characters say on thing and do another)
- The Herald or Threshold Guardian is a fellow striver who sold out
- A clear Point of No Return/ Truth Will Out moment, when Protagonist knows they can never go back to the way things used to be
- Ironic Win-But-Lose or Lose-But-Win bittersweet ending
In the next Post, I’ll dig into the 1st episode of Gentleman Jack.
More Story Analysis
If you want to see more applications of the Story Grid methodology, below are links to my analysis of various novels and television shows in blog posts and podcasts:
Story Grid Showrunners Podcast – Parul, Melanie, and I analyze hit TV series using the Story Grid methodology.
My blog posts analyzing other Television series – my person take using the Story grid 5 Commandments to look at my favorite TV series – Jack Ryan, Batgirl, For All Mankind, Hanna, and more.
Novel analysis – I analyze some of my favorite books using the Story Grid 5 Commandments and 6 core questions – First Blood, Old Man’s War, Waylander, and more to come!
Importing Files into Scrivener – Mac and Win
If you have some manuscripts that are still in Word or a TXT file then there is a very easy way to transfer them into Scrivener and organize them into individual chapters. If you have them in another format that you can copy, the second part of this article is dedicated to transferring these documents into Scrivener.
The Import and Split
This process is only supported by TXT, RTF, DOC, DOCX, files.
Take your manuscript and put a symbol, for instance ‘#’, in front of each chapter heading.
For instance, if your first chapter heading is: ‘Chapter 1: The End is Near’
Then you would type : ‘#Chapter 1: The End is Near’
An easy way to do this is by using the replace function and replace ‘Chapter’ with ‘#Chapter’. After you insert the symbol, run a find function on the document for the symbol (in this case ‘#’) to make sure the symbol isn’t used elsewhere in your document. Obviously, if this symbol is in other parts of the document, use another symbol.
Next, open a blank scrivener project. Make sure to highlight the location you want the document copied, usually the Manuscript folder in the binder. Then go to file>import>import and split – this will bring a pop up window that looks like this:

Make sure you have the symbol that you used before each chapter heading entered in the “Sections are separated by:” box (As I said, I used the ‘#’ symbol). Browse for the file you will import and then click OK.
I downloaded a text version of the book Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs from the Gutenberg website, copied it into word, inserted ‘#’ before each chapter heading, and then imported the document into scrivener. It looked like the below screen shot, with all the chapters separated into text sections in the binder on the left and labeled by chapter name.
Unsupported File Types (PDF and others)
If you have another type file that you want to move into Scrivener, use the following method.
Copy the text or manuscript you want to move. Select the folder in the binder you want to move the manuscript (usually the Manuscript folder). Use the the ‘Paste and Match Style Function’ – Edit>Paste and Match Style – to copy the text into Scrivener. Then scroll down to where you want the chapter split and select Document>Split>At Selection. If you highlight the chapter name and select Document>Split>At Selection as Title then Scrivener will split the selection as a new text file and put the section selected as the title. You can continue to do this through out the novel to separate all the chapters.
More Scrivener
For More Information on Scrivener and the Story Grid, check out my Scrivener Post Page to see all of my posts on the subject.
I started out learning Scrivener on my own, and I loved the tools I found. I eventually paid for an online course called Learn Scrivener Fast. It was very thorough and professionally done, and I learned even more tips and techniques. I really loved the course, and I became an affiliate, this is my affiliate link to Learn Scrivener Fast. I do receive a percentage of anything spent through that link.
If you want to learn more about writing a story using the Story Grid methodology, go to the Story Grid Webpage to find free videos and articles on how to implement the methodology.
These articles contain information about the 5 Commandments of Storytelling and the Editor’s 6 Core Questions from the book The Story Grid by Shawn Coyne. They also give details on obligatory scenes and conventions for specific genres, such as the thriller, love story, war story, crime story, and more.
For an example of how these techniques are used, read Jane Austin’s The Pride and the Prejudice with annotations by Shawn Coyne.
Editing Services
If you are interested in hiring me to edit your manuscript or if you need help writing a novel, check out my editing services. Also, see my Testimonials page for comments from previous clients.
Thanks!
More Story Analysis
If you want to see more applications of the Story Grid methodology, below are links to my analysis of various novels and television shows in blog posts and podcasts:
Story Grid Showrunners Podcast – Parul, Melanie, and I analyze hit TV series using the Story Grid methodology.
My blog posts analyzing other Television series – my person take using the Story grid 5 Commandments to look at my favorite TV series – Jack Ryan, Batgirl, For All Mankind, Hanna, and more.
Novel analysis – I analyze some of my favorite books using the Story Grid 5 Commandments and 6 core questions – First Blood, Old Man’s War, Waylander, and more to come!
Afghanistan 2002.
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